Double Time

Sunday I hung out with me fwb. I dropped him off at his place so he could get ready for a party that night for -uhg- football. He decided to be late. He made that decision while pulling my clothes off. He tongued me to my first orgasm, pinned me down and kept going until I built again. Then he added fingers to my anus until he could fuck me with a plug and managed to pull another orgasm out of me. I was rather impressed.

That brings me to 4, I believe.

#2

So it was 11:55pm, my dom told me I had 'till midnight to cum. Grabbed the insanely expensive KY Intense crap, my bullet, and managed with 30 seconds to spare. That makes 2 orgasms for the year. I'd say I'm doing good thus far.

Happy New Year

So we've determined that for 2011, I'm allowed to have 100 orgasms. I was given a choice between 300 or 100. I was concerned that I wouldn't accomplish 300 and 100 averages to about 8 per month. 8 a month is more than I've done in a while, so I feel my choice is fairly safe. I'll document each orgasm as it happens in this journal to keep track. Helluva start to 2011.

Happy New Year.

*** Update: I am down to 99. heh I made it last as long as possible, but eventually the hitachi called my name and I about killed myself with it. Fireworks for me!

Agonizing Abstinence

So my determination has been pretty sporadic lately to say the least. I'll get to that point and it feels completely overwhelming, like it's impossible to not cum. And if I don't cum I fee angry about it. But if I do cum I feel empty and disappointed. I just don't enjoy it. I like that feeling right before orgasm. Like I could live in the insanity of that moment and enjoy it better than cumming. I suppose it'd be different if I could cum multiple times. I have been getting a little better at that, but it's far from a consistent thing.

A couple of days ago I ran across this blog: http://agonizingabstinence.blogspot.com/

Reading some of the posts made me miss that acute denial more than I have in a while. There are challenges for everyone on there. I read through them and ended up soaked. I sent the page to my dom. He told me to do the 12 minute tease. I had to pause once, which is unlike me, but then I was VERY worked up before I even started. So the next day I had to try again and this time I made it through, even though I had to lighten up a bit at a certain part. Still, I wasn't allowed to cum. He wants me to wait a while.

I felt in need. Even after that, it didn't feel like enough. I started reading through some of the blogs and the stuff the girls were having to do and their reactions. It made me crave things I didn't know I wanted. I asked my dom if I could masturbate as long as I didn't cum. I needed to relieve some of the tension. He said it was fine. So I go like that for a good 30 minutes. By this point I have so many ideas running through my head from the blogs. I knew a crotch rope wasn't going to work. I bruise easy and there's no way I could sleep through that. But the thought of the pressure sounded nice. Another post talked about how she could only sleep with something inside of her. I never thought I'd understand that.

So up I went. I grabbed my bullet and put it inside me on low. I balled up a pair of underwear and pushed it against my clit. Then I covered it all with a tight pair of underwear. Then, I went to sleep. Figuratively. I would finally drift off for a few minutes only to be jerked back into consciousness. I wa swollen andd wet all night. I slept nearly 30 minutes at one point. I dreamt then.

I had a dream about my actual dom, which is unusual since I rarely dream about people I know and he lives and such a distance. I was next to another sub and we were both being teased. The other dom was actually there, whereas my dom was a very odd floating entity above my head to signify is distance. The other dom showed off by putting his sub over the table of a coffee shop and fucking her in front of everyone. My dom retaliated by telling me to find someone to fuck, to inform them to do whatever they want to me, and to NOT cum. Just as the guy started pounding into me I woke up withering.

It was at that point that I rolled over on my stomach and my hips started thrusting for a while. Oddly, it felt better after that. The vibrations from the bullet were muffled by the panties, so my clit got no excess stimulation. But the humping of the bed gave me enough pressure to relieve some of the ache. I tossed for another hour before I couldn't stand my dry mouth anymore. Sexual stimulation always gives me a dry mouth.

The problem was, I couldn't stand up. If I stood up I'd have to pee. I couldn't imagine turning the vibe off for that long. I couldn't turn it off at all. It would hurt too much. Finally I got up and drank some water. Then I went to the bathroom, carefully removed the undies on my clit, and did the only thing I could. I held it in place while I peed. As I was putting everything back into place I noticed spots of red on the toilet paper. Sure enough, I had started. Another dilemma.

If I kept it in the cramps would catch up with me eventually. But I couldn't stop it. I just couldn't. Despite how little sleep I'd had. So I put down a pantie liner and went back to bed.

After a while I desperately wanted to peak but that would require more noisy toys and my roommate hadn't left for work yet. Finally I passed out for a whole hour. I dreamt that my dom was driving a car with me and two other girls. All of us had on string bikinis. We also had toys inside of us and hadn't cum in weeks. One of the other girls had gone shopping at Sam's earlier for groceries. She'd missed a few items but insisted that they hadn't been at Sam's. So my dom was sending me in to check for those items. Once I was inside I realized my top had fallen off. Thankfully it was nighttime and the inside of Sam's was dimly lit. (yay dream altering) I found a towel and wrapped it around me. The items I was looking for weren't there, of course. On the way out I ran into someone that worked there that I had worked with at my previous job. She followed me outside asking if I'd been to the beach today. Outside it was suddenly a few degrees above freezing and there was a light rain coming down. By the time I made it to the car, I was shivvering and gripping my towel for dear life. My dom frowned at me and demanded the removal of the towel. I did so and he upped the speed of my toy. He told me I would go into the next store as well, even without my top.

I woke up then. This time pain woke me up. I was cramping so hard I didn't need to worry about any other pain. So I got up and removed everything and cleaned up and slapped down a pad. I noticed that my bullet wasn't as waterproof as it claimed and had blood in it. That was amazingly ucky and I pouted at it. After that I got some water and went back to bed. I finally slept for a few hours.

I'm awake now, but still bone tired. And horny. I want to slap a dildo to a wall an fuck the hell out of it. I want to grab my hitachi and peek so many times I could go crazy from it. But I'm also cramping horribly and can't imagine causing any more tension. I hate being a girl sometimes.

And lastly, there is a challenge on that blog I found amazingly erotic and daunting all at once. It gives you a number of peeks to accomplish before you can cum. So if you do a bunch of peeks in one day, you are aching with need. If you rest and do a few, you're extending the time before you can cum. It says to start at 250, or higher if need be. The number was surprising, but I can see how that would make it that much more complicated. I have the urge to try that one, even though part of me thinks I'm crazy for that. heh

Uhg. Need pain killers.

Not So Daily

So on the 3rd I was able to talk to my dom and tell him about the encounter. He said it was fine and asked if I had cum. I told him I had but it was officially May when it happened. He asked if it was good and I said "very". Then he said "So you're good for the month, right?"

Ominous.

We talked about it for a while and said that he might let me cum under very special conditions but wouldn't specify. I'm left worrying about a month of no cumming. Can I really make that? I don't really want to find out. I mean, I have done it before, but it was more just neglect of myself. Having someone tell me not to turns me on and then I'm dying for release the whole time.

The day after that (I think) I had to take the biggest toy I had (rabbit) and just put it in me. I couldn't turn it on, I just had to leave it there for a couple of hours. Quote, "I just want something to fill your slutty pussy." Such words shouldn't turn me on... Eventually I had to clean and took it out though it was replaced with my butt plug up my ass. I had to wear it as long as possible. I made it to about 45 minutes before I had to take it out. I need a smaller one for long term use.

Tonight I wanted to use my rabbit in the shower since it IS water proof and hadn't done so yet. He said that I could but if I edged, I had to turn the water to cold and stand under it for exactly 15 seconds. No cumming. Period. So there I was with the suction cup base stuck to the tiles, me bent over, gripping the edge of the tub, the water pouring down on me... Fucking the wall while the shower is going and me soaking wet, my hair throwing water all over the place was highly erotic to me. I imagined being told dirty things. I imagined sucking cock while in that position. I slapped my own ass and muttered bad things.

I had fun. Too much fun. The cold water hurt and my leg almost cramped from the sudden change. Was it worth it? Well... I'd do it again. That's for sure.

On a side note, life seems to have flipped in the dom world. When we first started out it was quite a bit more daily. Which I don't particularly mind it being more intermittent, but it seems to far in between these days. Then again, that may be just because I have far to much time on my hands lately. Also, in the begining I was almost orgasming to a point of pain and overload even though I was being denied often. Now it's the reverse - sort of. Denied to a point of pain and overload, yet not orgasming often. I suppose I just feel neglected. That plus the stress I'm already under and all my free time, I am craving more play and at least a few more orgasms. I will most definitely not get to point where I can have numerous orgasms a week at the rate I'm going.

It's not that I don't like denial. I do. I just miss attention... and endorphins.

With that, I'm off to bed early so I can start my first busy week in months. I shall fall asleep to the thought of fucking a wall in the shower.

Apples

So my period ended early for a change on Thursday night. Not that it mattered, my dom was nowhere to be found. Not that THAT mattered, since I was banned for the rest of the month.

Today I had an old contact hook up with me. First time I've had sex since late February. How about them apples? He fingered me first and he was resilient. I came. I kept checking my phone to see if my dom would ever come online the whole day, but he was busy and I knew that. Oh well. I'll find out later if I should be concerned... Funny part was, after so many different positions, my guy still couldn't seem to get off. Too much time with his hand, if you ask me. It ended on a good note, though: a nice dinner.

Ah, well.

Chastity

So a few nights ago I had a dream about being locked in my chastity belt and my dom telling me to freeze the keys in a cup of water and he'd tell me when I could melt them. I woke up and told him about it and he immediately told me to put on my belt.

For the rest of the day, I spent wore that belt and the kegel things in me. I had to take the belt off after about 8 hours, the straps were digging in too much. That night, just before bed, I was allowed to take the kegel things out. The next morning to told me that I was to have no orgasms and no unverified stimulation at all for the rest of the month. That ended up being about 12 days, plus two since my last orgasm. It's been a long week.

Multiple times I've been in situations where I've been increasingly horny and he has even instructed me to continue in those situations, but no touching at all. And now I'm on my period which won't end until Friday anyhow.

I kept forgeting to post all this, so I am now. Do to all the forced lack of activity, I haven't gotten that far behind.