Not So Daily

So on the 3rd I was able to talk to my dom and tell him about the encounter. He said it was fine and asked if I had cum. I told him I had but it was officially May when it happened. He asked if it was good and I said "very". Then he said "So you're good for the month, right?"

Ominous.

We talked about it for a while and said that he might let me cum under very special conditions but wouldn't specify. I'm left worrying about a month of no cumming. Can I really make that? I don't really want to find out. I mean, I have done it before, but it was more just neglect of myself. Having someone tell me not to turns me on and then I'm dying for release the whole time.

The day after that (I think) I had to take the biggest toy I had (rabbit) and just put it in me. I couldn't turn it on, I just had to leave it there for a couple of hours. Quote, "I just want something to fill your slutty pussy." Such words shouldn't turn me on... Eventually I had to clean and took it out though it was replaced with my butt plug up my ass. I had to wear it as long as possible. I made it to about 45 minutes before I had to take it out. I need a smaller one for long term use.

Tonight I wanted to use my rabbit in the shower since it IS water proof and hadn't done so yet. He said that I could but if I edged, I had to turn the water to cold and stand under it for exactly 15 seconds. No cumming. Period. So there I was with the suction cup base stuck to the tiles, me bent over, gripping the edge of the tub, the water pouring down on me... Fucking the wall while the shower is going and me soaking wet, my hair throwing water all over the place was highly erotic to me. I imagined being told dirty things. I imagined sucking cock while in that position. I slapped my own ass and muttered bad things.

I had fun. Too much fun. The cold water hurt and my leg almost cramped from the sudden change. Was it worth it? Well... I'd do it again. That's for sure.

On a side note, life seems to have flipped in the dom world. When we first started out it was quite a bit more daily. Which I don't particularly mind it being more intermittent, but it seems to far in between these days. Then again, that may be just because I have far to much time on my hands lately. Also, in the begining I was almost orgasming to a point of pain and overload even though I was being denied often. Now it's the reverse - sort of. Denied to a point of pain and overload, yet not orgasming often. I suppose I just feel neglected. That plus the stress I'm already under and all my free time, I am craving more play and at least a few more orgasms. I will most definitely not get to point where I can have numerous orgasms a week at the rate I'm going.

It's not that I don't like denial. I do. I just miss attention... and endorphins.

With that, I'm off to bed early so I can start my first busy week in months. I shall fall asleep to the thought of fucking a wall in the shower.