Video Chat!

So me and my dom got Skype and now video chat is possible!

He had me get undressed down to my underwear but I am nowhere near comfortable with my body. I've got meat on me. Perhaps a little more than is needed. So I hid. That made him angry. I don't like it when he's angry. That didn't make me from stand up, though.

So off with the bra, on with the nipple clamps. And then I had to pinch them. Hard. Harder. Harder still. I also had to pull on them. In different directions. They sliped off 3 times and I had to later purposefully pull them off 3 more. Between the pinching and pulling, they were sore enough. Then I had to slap them. Ten a piece.

I also had to watch him cum and leisurely clean up while I was teased and not allowed to cum.

Did you know there's a site online that's just a stop watch? He made use of it. Pinching the clamps for a full minute. And then the hitachi. Oh... The hitachi...

It was on through most of the nipple action. Then I had to time for 5 minutes. Except he wouldn't let me turn it off. I waited for nothing. High. Low. High. Low. High. Finally, ten minutes later he told me to get to the edge and stop. Said that when he reaches 1 he'd let me cum. He started at 10 and counted down, but them started throwing numbers all over the place and never said one. I was about to scream. He finally said I could cum. Then told me to stop 5 seconds in.

I whined whimpered. He told me to turn it back on again. After a while he let me cum again and hold out the orgasm, though I almost thought he wouldn't let me stop.

I begged a lot tonight.

I get the feeling that 20 minutes was only 20 minutes due to him getting tired. If he'd been more awake, it would have been a lot more torture. I'm nervous now. I think he likes video. I also think he was trying to make me cum without permission so he could try and punish me. Oh my...

I'm not allowed to touch myself sexually until we are online together again and he says I can. Nobody else is allowed to either. No toys. No humping. The fact that he got so specific makes me worry how long he's going to have me hold out. I am a tad bit concerned.

The Picture

I found a picture someone has posted up on fetlife. edcc984b790841b146170602c2852880_20091006204949_510.jpg I have a thing for guy on guy AND Gambit. I my nether parts gave a happy little shivver just seeing it. I showed it to my dom. He told me to put the hitachi on low. I was more than happy to do so. He then told me to start watching porn, so I pulled up one of my favorite downloads with Mark Davis in it.

I begged for release in no time. He said no. It's very hard to not cum with the hitachi. I had to pull it off many times. I peeked a lot without having been told. There was no helping it. What felt like an eternity later (but probably about 15 minutes), he finally let me cum. It was a very nice orgasm.

After

So whilst I wrote my last post I had the bullet on and kept it on for a while. I put the clamps on and had to wait a long time before given any further instructions. Torturous, waiting is...

I had to keep the clamps tight and pull them off my nipples slowly... three times. It was not a pleasant experience, but I did it without complaint. Well, other that letting him know how much it hurt. Which seemed to only amuse him. I had to peek once and then the scary part started. I had to clip the clamps onto my labia. I hadn't ever done that before.

They clamped onto my inner labia and it stung something awful. I also had to take a picture. I've never taken such intimate pictures before either. It was all so embarrassing for me, I wasn't used to it. I had to take a picture of them as I tugged the chain up and put tension on the clamps too. That also hurt a lot. I could take them off after I sent the picture to him. The relief from that was nice.

I then had to grab my rabbit and give it a blow job before slowly fucking myself with it. Pictures of that too. After a long while he finally let me cum as I begged and begged for release.

He said I was a good girl. That made me happy.

I haven't done anything since, though I haven't had much time. But I'll make sure to document every sexual activity I have from now on. Because he told me to, of course.

The Trip

So this past weekend I went on a trip. I drove three hours to go visit a friend and attend a munch I promised to go to if they scheduled it on a Friday. They did. And miraculously, work gave me a three day weekend! My friend was sick and she got ME sick, but not until after I got home. Oh well... It was a nice trip!

After the munch I was invited via my friend to a party made of kinksters. The owner of the house owned a sybian. Now, I have this intense desire to ride a sybian. It took all night, but finally the rest of the party rallied together with me and demanded I get to ride it. So out came the sybian!

I had conditions. One was that I had to use an attachment. There is a reason no one has used the attachments before, they were HUGE and made everyone wince. Second condition was I had to ride it in the livingroom so everyone could watch. I had a dress on, so it covered everything. I accepted. The owner was demanding a souvenir as I went to the bathroom and people were talking about whos phone could record the longest. I came out to find a video camera set up. But I accepted. I really wanted to ride it.

It took a lot of lube and a lot of determination to fit on the HORRIBLY LARGE penis attachment. I really wished I could have tried it without... Anyways, I finally got on and started playing with the settings. The vibe nob set halfway felt like a hitachi on high. One of the girls in my audience was really excited about that. I played with the nobs for a while and showed the camera occasionally what what happening. I got both settings up on high to try it out and everyone was impressed. If you're wondering what vibe on high felt like, as the girl in the audience did, it felt the equivalent of 3 hitachis.

It took a while to get off considering how big it was. I think I came a few times, but couldn't spasm all that well due to how stretched I was. After a while I finally collapsed forward and turned them off with much effort. Unfortunately, the sybian stuck to me. Someone had to come over and pull it out of me while his girlfriend put a pillow under my head. Later, once I regained speech, she helped me get dressed and they both had to help me walk to the car. My knees honestly would not work. It was amazing.

I was sore for dayyyyys.

The next day we went to visit my friend's Master and his dungeon. I got to watch him florentine her. He's very talented. And he tried out all of his paddles for me to see. And I determined I'm not a fan of dragontails (using or receiving). Later that night he tried out his hand made Double Evil on me. It hurt, but it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Or as bad as it looks... It was nice to experience clover clamps used by someone who knew what they were doing!

Later I got to try suction. The nipples I couldn't handle long due to the previous abuse. The clit I held for a long while. He even vibed on it until it drove me crazy because the vibe was everywhere but where I needed it. So he handed me my hitachi after taking it off (that's right, I packed it) and watched me cum. Then I helped dom my friend as he ate her out. He was happy that I watched them have sex. It's a thing for him.

Then I drove the looong drive home the next day. I think I developed a blister down there for a few days. It hurt a bit. I definitely overdid it. I haven't even thought of touching myself since then.

However, my Dom came online today and noticed I hadn't made a post about my weekend. He said I must post any sexual activity. He says he's going to punish me. I've been writing this with the bullet on. I'll write more later of what is to come.

Overdone

Yesterday my dom was online. He poped up after my morning peek and told me I could grab my wand and cum as many times as I wanted to. Happily, I grabbed it up and started going at it. It was almost hard to cum the first time, but the 2nd time wasn't, as it usually it. Of course, it caused me to squirt all over the place. I'd just washed those sheets! It was a lot, too...

Finally, I made it to three, about the time he told me 6 minimum. 6? I was luck I managed 3. I'd only done that once before. Still, I tried and tried and I think I hit 4, but I'm not entirely sure. All the motions of my body was there, but I didn't feel the muscles spasming like usual inside me. Then again, I don't think they could. I didn't have anything left to squirt, but I felt myself try anyways. He told me to take a break. I did.

All of a sudden I was late. I'm not sure how long I was lying there, but I had evening plans and it was quickly gaining on evening. I was lying there in a puddle of my own stuff, soaked through with it, so I needed to add a bath to my to-do list. I stumbled into the shower and washed up mindlessly. I think a lot of my problem was I hadn't eaten yet, but I didn't have time to cook by then. I poped a vitamin and got ready. I didn't get everything I needed to do done before time to leave. It made us late and then we couldn't find the place with made us later. Missing the entire first hour, everyone else was lost and bored. I could have stayed all night anyways, but they insisted on leaving.

I came home disapointed and lacking in two orgasms and my nightly peaks. I walking into my room, looked at my hitachi and cringed. I made some food, watched some youtube, looked at my hitachi and cringed. I read my book some, looked at my hitachi and cringed. I read some more, looked at my hitachi and cringed. Finally I asked myself if I was ready for the punishment that went with not touching that thing at all tonight. I had no trepidation at all. I didn't have the energy to worry about it since all of my energy was focused on it not touching me.

You know how when you weight lift on one arm too much, you can blow the muscle? It's useless and weak until it heals. That's what my vagina feels like. I don't think I could orgasm if I tried.

At first I just accepted that I'd have a top out on my even days in March and would get punished for the rest. Now, I don't think I can hit a top out every other day. I don't think I could peak at all after March 4th.

When I was younger and supposed to be starting in on masturbation, I didn't. I didn't masturbate at all until I was 19. OCD, mostly. It kept me from being able to handle it. I was also shy and wouldn't ask what I was doing wrong to not enjoy it like others did. That's changed, but my formative years are what's important. I think I've missed out on building muscle tone in my vagina. Really. I think that's what it is. It means I get BIG orgasms, but I get few.

The hitachi still hasn't touched me. Nothing has. I'm so overloaded still that the blanket on my nipples makes me wince.

I'll take my punishment. Happily. But not a damn thing is touching me today. Not. A. Damn. Thing.

Laundry

I pulled the car up next to my door to load my clothes into it. I had my ALL my clothes and sheets to wash. It was a lot of stuff. I left the car running to keep it warm. I was so out of clothes that I wore an old pajama outfit that has too big pants and a too small shirt. I put my leather jacket over to keep warm, since I was washing all of my hoodies. Inside the apartment, I couldn't hear my car at all. It made me nervous, knowing that there are people walking around my complex at all hours of the night and I'd left the keys in with it running. So I stayed by the front window to watch it.

I grabbed my bag of goodies as I made to leave and it occured to me that with the tight shirt and open jacket, I'd have no way of clamping my nipple discreatly. Not to mention the laundry mat I go to has camera everywhere, including the parking lot. Usually I view that as a good thing. Not when clamps are involved, however. So I just settle for the vibe and start driving, not wanting to run into the bedroom to put the clamps on quickly, or turn the care off.

All the way to the mat, I continued to get nervous about my spur of the moment decison to forgo the clamps. I almost pulled over and put them on, but my route is well lit and police patroled at that time of night. So I kept going. Truly, I had no good excuse this time other than, "It was cold outside and I was in a hurry." Again, I knew I wouldn't lie.

Before I went into the mat, I dropped the clamps into the inner pocket of my jacket. When I finished my clothes, I put everything in the car and went back inside real quick to the bathroom there. I put the clamps on before leaving to drive home. There was a guy there doing his laundry, watching Glen Beck on the TV, sending me small glances. I felt a thrill of excitement walking by him with the clamps on, knowing he was unaware of what happened. I should have been embarassed. I wasn't.

The entire ride home, the vibe felt more intense than usual. I ended up at home, checking my e-mail, humping the bed. This morning's peak in the shower was enough to drive me mad. After all that, I'm crazed with the need to cum. To ride it out in its entirety. To beg and plead for such a release. And I haven't even done my two peaks for the night. I crave the masturbation, but I fear the lack of release. It's going to keep me up all night, thrashing and moaning. I just know it will.

I almost feel like crying every time I peak and have to stop. It's one of the reasons I can't do denial to myself. I have to have a reason, even if that reason is to please my dom, or simply a fear of punishment that I will do to myself once told to.

I'm off to my nightly ritual. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm on edge. I want to cum, so very badly.

Oh so much

Two hours into work and I had to go home. In a mear four hours I'd soaked straight through my pad, undies, and into my jeans. We're talking the uber long Overnight pads. My flow has never been so heavy and my headache was coming back to haunt me. One of the girls at work (who I've told about my recent adventures in denial) said it was do to the muscle tension I've been building but never gave release. It makes sense, I guess. Still, my periods have always been an issue. They're erratic and can either be unnoticable, emotionally crippling, or so painful I can't breathe.

So I went home feeling gross and exhausted and generally shitty feeling. I'd done my morning peak and drove to work with a vibe (outside the pants) and the clamps. I drove home with neither. I stumbled inside and took some pain killers and chocolate. Since I've woken up I've have to change pads 4 times. I dunno how I'm going to make it through the night. I considered sleeping with pants on, but I plan to wash the sheets tomorrow anyways, so I probably won't.

I also haven't been naked, as was called for when I'm home alone. I've had a loose shirt, no bra, loose pajama pants, and my fuzzy robe on. Sick wear, as I call it. I have no intention to peak twice tonight. I'll do my morning one in the shower tomorrow. I figure there's no point showering before bed, I'll only wake up covered in it all again.

Uhg. I feel disgusting and crappy.

I'd like to just cut the damn thing out. Bye bye uterus! The doctors totally won't do it. Bastards.

So I'm making some mac&cheese, considering what all I haven't done. Two nightly rituals gone, one car ritual gone, one not naked period of time. I have my reasons. Are they good enough reasons? I don't know. They sure feel like it. I feel like I'm being punished already. Still, it's all making me nervous.