I suck at updates

So me and Arta split after about a month. Things just didn't work out and all that. You know how it is.

But then started my extended term of celibacy. I had play time in general, top and bottom and all kink related. But for the life of me I couldn't score some sex. 8 months in I ended up with a one night stand because when I get too desperate, I stop caring. I don't entirely qualify that encounter. It was the worst sex of my life, he rubbed off a layer of skin on my clit, and neither of us got off. Eventually we just gave up. It left me feeling the same as before. It was another 2 months before I had another opportunity.

So 10 months total and I finally got some good sex. KINKY sex. Objectifying sex. He was rough and he called me names, and he didn't let me cum, and he took what he wanted from me. It was AMAZING.

I've been having a lot of kinky encounters recently. If I go back to my loooong dry spell I think I'll die. I've overcome a lot of my previous issues about submitting again to anyone which has been ruining my D/s attempts. I've been craving Orgasm Denial again and now I just need someone good at it to take my libido back from me. It's not happy under my control. It prefers being controlled by other. I don't blame it.

So that's about all that's been happening but I haven't made a post in a while, so I thought I'd update for the hell of it. I guess if I get a new dom to control my girly parts, I'll be back here again with regular updates. Until then, I wish you readers lots of kinky sex in your futures.

Sex?

So I set up a booty call with a friend because frankly, it has been a while since I have had sex. I was told to blog about it. I was also told to ask if I could cum while he was here. I did. She said no. Of course she said no. What else would she say?

So the guy came over, we relaxed a bit, we went into my room and started things off slow. He latched on to my nipples and enjoyed making me squeak. Then he petted me. Big, warm, soft hands slowly running all over me. I think I could have done just that all night, it felt so good... But other things happened. He wasn't allowed to do BDSM play, just sexual torture since he knew I wasn't supposed to cum and found it hilarious. He took up the hitachi and set to work with various fingers in me at the same time. It didn't take long before I was calling out how close I was. Finally, it didn't matter, it was happening anyways because of those damn fingers. So he shoved the hitachi back on me and made me ride it... again... and again... and again... I started begging for mercy unintelligibly. Finally, he stopped.

At that point he went to wash his hands and let me recover. I thought it odd he washed his hands but figured he was just being polite. Later I went to the bathroom and found blood. I'm not sure where I was cut or how it had been caused. I mentioned it to him and apparently the blood was why he went to wash up. Though he neglected to tell me I was bleeding! Feh.

After a while of finding his sensitive spots and talking I ended up taking hold of his balls and massaging them. Which was something he could have had done for hours, apparently. We talked some more and then he jumped me and held me down, re-applying the hitachi. It was too much, I begged for him not to. When I finally started to feel like a could cum again, he'd turn it off, wait, and then turn it back on again. By the end I was moaning and bucking and he clamped my legs together and locked them in place with his arms. His body pressed on the end of the hitachi while the business end stayed shoved into my clit. I finally came and he still wouldn't move. I fought, but he had me pinned. I was almost in tears, begging for it to stop when he finally turned it off. I was limp for a while after that one. It felt like a workout.

After that cool down my stomach was growling audibly, as was his. He offered to drive and insisted on food. We got some fast food and that's when I realized how late it had gotten. I had to work in the morning. After food, he hugged me a few times and left with a smirk, amused with himself for telling Arta that I had cum without permission.

The thing that surprised me the most was that he not once seemed inclined to push for intercourse. He had plenty of opportunity but he seemed content just to torture me. I accused him of knowing that sex would make him lose a bit of control and he was wanting to stay on top in the situation. He shrugged and said maybe but he still didn't fuck me. I've had guys too interested in themselves to give a thought on my orgasm. Considering my kink, I don't entirely mind. But I've never had a guy too interested in my orgasm to think aught of himself. It was truly one for the record books.

I do hope that one day he actually will fuck me. I like the feeling of intercourse. Who knew it'd be so hard to get? heh

New Happenings

So it should be obvious by now that things ended. We went our separate ways and I angrily had a lot of orgasms that first month. Then I died back down to my usual when my fwb moved away. So, I have severely lost count of my orgasms, not that it matters anyways.

After some searching and some failed tryouts, I have landed me a new dom. And she shall be called Arta. That's right, you heard me, she.

This will be my first time having any kind of long term relations with a girl on any level. It should be interesting.

These first two weeks with her have not been a good time for me and it's making my submission difficult. Hopefully I'll level out soon. It's not her fault. I've just been a bit off lately. And then I started my period. So during this down time, I was told to pick up my journal again and make an update. So here I am, making an update.

And now I need to finish my laundry.

Little bit

So I've been fiending for some action for a while. I'm dying to submit and being fully used up. Not that it's going to happen any time soon, it seems. This morning I spent three hours daydreaming a lovely scene with some random dom I came up with. Finally I started masturbating. Just like in most cases when this happens I intend to stop. Just like in most cases I don't have the strength of will to do so. I want to be aroused all day, I want that torturous feel of yearning and need, I want to edge myself mad. Yet, despite how much I want it, I can't do it on my own. Which seems like a lack of willpower stated in such a way. But to say it as "I can't seem to be a sub and dom myself." is kind of a "no shit, Sherlock" statement. So I don't feel as bad about it.

Small orgasm. Still haven't heard from my dom since that day. No more friend with benefits. Lots of need. That's what's happening on my end.

18/100

Being Lazy

So I've been neglecting my blog but not so much my orgasms. About two weeks ago I has one in the shower. That was a bit of a spur of the moment decision on my part. It was nice, though.

A few days after that my friends with benefits decided to try out the rope skills he had learned at the class we went to. He tied me up fairly well for a beginner and flipped me around in all sorts of ways before fucking me while I was still bound up. It was fun to watch him struggle with the mixed tide of emotions I saw in his eyes as he realized I was entirely at his mercy and was completely dependent on him to move. Ahh, beginners.

A few days after that I felt oddly horny and was remembering that nice night. So I pulled out the hitachi and stared it down like an old foe. I am happy to report that I was able to orgasm from it rather easily and it was as big as I remember them to be. That made me very happy.

In sadder news, my fwb is moving a few states away. Yesterday I saw him off and as I was saying goodbye I couldn't help but tease him. He carted me upstairs to his mostly empty room and took me on the floor, teasing me in every way he could. He made sure I got mine. It was a nice goodbye, if a sad one. But he shall be back to visit. I'm sure I'll have tales of him in the future.

Four more to add to my growing count which puts me at 17/100. The par for the end of April is 33/100. That's a 16 point difference.

In other news, today my dom finally text me. Haven't heard much of him in a few months outside of that day at the mall, have you dear readers? Well, he half assed his way through some commands. I didn't do any of them. Never had the intention to. I wanted to see how long it would take for him to respond. What he would do when he did. And if he would retain focus. The answers were: About four days; simple, vague demands; no. I'm begining to wonder if the other 83 orgasms are even worth keeping track of...

I suppose I'm not entirely blameless. I've been stubborn and naysaying a lot of his requests. I've just grown weary of pretending that what he asks is physically compatible with me, arguing against hard limits for the umpteenth time, and purposefully provoking him into anger. It's as if punishment is the only time he's involved enough to work through & finish a scene. So instead of succumbing to bad behavior for attention, I'm going to lay it all out there for the public to see. It's was he asked of me with this blog. To share all my intimate moments with strangers for that subtle feeling of being exposed and embarrassed. That can work both ways, though. Good thing he's a switch.

So, miffed and sadistically satisfied with my venting, I'm off to bed. Good night random readers.

Catching up

Wednesday night my friends with benefits came over. We always have such a good time together. Again he took me on the couch. My first orgasm came from his face between my legs. The second was his determination to rub another one out. And it succeeded. He tried another one while he was in me but that was pushing his luck and making me crazy. Abandoning that he flipped me over on my knees and took me that way. My hair was wet from the shower when we started. When we finished it was a dry, disheveled mess. But apparently it suited me, or so he said. heh

Last night I was catching up on an orgasm denial blog. He posted a challenge for the women out there. Another synchronized masturbation video that was twenty minutes long. The girl in the video came more times than I could keep track off. I was having a hard time keeping off that edge by the end of it, but I made it and according to the rules I was allowed to cum. A good thing since it only took me one second after the video stopped for it to happen.

For some reason I still find myself craving more despite the fact that I'm a bit sore from last night's vigorous rubbing. Unfortunately I have to get to work.

Doing a bit of quick math, the average for the first three months of the year is 25. I'm at 13. Only somewhat concerning. My friends with benefits might catch me up a bit but he's leaving at the end of the month. At that point, it's going to be a bit more difficult to keep caught up.

Wet

Friday morning I woke up insanely horny. After a lazy morning of staying in bed and daydreaming sexy things for an hour or so, I finally started masturbating. I almost failed at doing so considering how wet I was. I couldn't get a good grip! I have never been so soaked in my life. It ended up a very nice orgasm.

Friday night I learned how to do a whirrly bird and it was amazing. But that's off topic.

Saturday a friend came over. We hung out for a while watching TV and it got late. He was going to leave and I stood up to hug him. I teased him a little bit because that's who I am. He decided to retaliate. I have no idea how much time passed. But eventually he was behind me, holding me firmly, and had me overwhelmed with need. Pinching my nipples, pulling my hair, raking his hands over my body. He unzipped my pants and rubbed on me until I was moaning and humping the air. When I tried to move to the couch for better positioning he held me firm against him and told me I was going to cum standing up. Not entirely sure how he managed to do it, but it happened.

After that we moved to the couch. He came very close to making me cum while he was inside me, but I couldn't quite reach it. Still, a show for him since he sat still and I was the one wildly working my hips on his cock trying to obtain that which was so far out of reach.

Sunday I went to a porn shop and found libido enhancing pills for women. I don't know how well they will work but it may be a few days before I can find out. In the meantime I'm sitting happily and number 10. Possibly more to come soon since I'm also rather horny this morning. Work might kill that, though. Oh well.